|A discussion of love....
||[Sep. 18th, 2008|01:17 pm]
Disclaimer: This post isn't about any particular people or circumstance. It stemmed from a discussion and I'm extremely curious what others think.
Even those who aren't parents can probably help with this one.
Say you have a child. Of course, you love that child with all of your heart and being. You love that child so much, you can't imagine loving them any more. Nothing can diminish that love, nor take away from the bond you share with that child.
Now....you have another child.
Of course, you love that new child with all of your heart and being. All of the statements above apply to the new child.
First question: Do you love your first child any less?
Typical answer: Of course not. Parents love all of their children equally (for the most part...as long as they're behaving and not getting arrested for smoking dope at school).
If we take a step back...why should this 'unlimited love that can be shared' exist only in regard to parents and their children?
Should you be able to have 'unlimited love' for your own parents? Do you love either one less than the other? What about love of your siblings?
And then the kicker....what about someone you don't share DNA with, such as a lover/partner?
Let's first clear up that of course there are many different forms of love that we feel. Some examples:
Parental love toward one's children
Familial love toward one's parents and/or siblings and/or aunts/uncles, cousins, etc.
Romantic love toward one's partner, SO, husband/wife, fiancee, etc.
Should the 'unlimited love that knows no limits and no bounds' concept apply to only one of those forms of love? If so, why?
I suppose this line of thought is migrating into a polygamy vs. monogamy concept. But, call it what you will, the questions remain.
What is it that upsets us so when our romantic love goes beyond a 1-1 basis? If our capacity for love is truly unlimited, then shouldn't we be able to love many vs. one if that's the way the wind takes us? If we feel romantic love towards one that is not our partner, does it lesson the love we feel for that partner?
Is it just the sex? Does sharing physical intimacy with one person take away from the experience we share with another? Seems similar to the emotional aspect to me and really the fundamental question....does sharing something lessen it?
Another option: We feel that way because society tells us to. We're supposed to pair off and that's that. It's always been how it's done.
Yet another option: We're too insecure with ourselves that unless our partner is monogmous, they'll find someone better, leave us, and we'll be alone without romantic love at all.
The former is kind of sad, yet expected as it also explains many other behaviors we exhibit. The latter is way sad, yet probably too close to the truth. It's where jealousy comes from, which is among the ugliest of negative emotions.
Anyone have any thoughts? My monogamous partner and I are quite curious what people think.